 This is not a drill... nor a set up shot. Just an accurate display of how things sometimes go at the barn. Once I was listening to a morning radio show where a caller stated she rode horses and the host’s comment was “have you ever heard horse girls talk? They’d make a sailor blush”. He didn’t comment on the way we control thousands of pounds of horseflesh, or drive big trucks, or spend lots of money... oh no, the first thing that came to his mind was how crudely we speak.
And he’s not wrong. I was raised in a barn. Which means discussion about pee and poop was common; my sexual education started while watching a stallion mount a mare; and as an 8 year old, “hussy” had become part of my vocabulary because of my friend’s pony who would squat if a gelding looked at her. 
Here we are. We are here. There's a sky, and there might be clouds, and there's grass. I think there's grass. I keep my mighty steed's nose pointed towards that little white blurry box in the distance as I totally and utterly fake calmness. Wave to a few people coming off the course, make small talk about how the course is riding, look up at the box, and it still seems far away... and blurry.
Pick up a (calm, we are sssoooo calm. Calm Calm Calm) trot (but kinda brisk, because the starter just called out our 1:30 takeoff countdown). The box is still blurry. Maybe my contacts are dry. Wait, I don't wear contacts. Do I need glasses? Will I be able to see distances around the course? Or avoid trees? Or will I end up as some funny meme on Facebook because my horse went one way and I went the other. Damn that's a funny meme. Mentally add "make eye appointment" to list of things to do. But wait, I could see fine in warm-up. I did warm up, didn't I? "Number 187, you have 1 minute" |
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